Communicating with Power

I've been talking about power this  year. Your personal power. 

With today's partial lunar eclipse blowing through with some big-ass changes, there's no better time to up your personal power skills. In this post, I'm sharing one of the things I love -- communicating with power.

Take Kristen, my youngest stepdaughter. She’s an amazing young woman in her 20s living on her own.

Recently, we were talking about the roommate she took on for the summer. I asked her how it was going. 

She said, “It’s OK, but he’s so messy. He leaves his stuff everywhere, and it’s driving me crazy.” 

“Wow,” I said. “That would drive me crazy, too. Have you talked to him about it?” 

“No. I keep dropping hints. I thought his mom would tell him to be neater, especially after she came for a visit," she said. "Apparently she didn’t.” 

“Sounds like it’s time to tell him how you feel,” I said.  “Shoot from the hip and tell him exactly what you want.” 

Kristen looked at me with fear in her eyes. “I can’t do that. I can’t tell him that. I’m scared of telling people that kind of stuff.” 

Let's talk about the 2 ways of communicating. 


This way is about communicating without communicating. Like Kristen mentioned, this way relies on things like: 

  • Dropping hints.
  • Beating around the bush.
  • Using sarcasm to veil your true feelings.
  • Asking other people to do it for you. 


Direct communication is saying what you mean and meaning what you say. No hints, bush-beating, or pawning it off on someone else.

Here's the thing about indirect vs. direct communication: 

Indirect is something that most of us try many times. I certainly did in the first half of my life. It seems easier somehow. 

Most of the time, however, indirect communicate fails miserably, because it requires that the other person read your mind. Dropping hints is like expecting the other person to be the Amazing Kreskin. This pretty much guarantees that you’re going to be frustrated. What's more, indirect communication is also a way of denying your personal power. 

Direct communication connects your personal power (3rd chakra) to your voice (5th chakra) and has them singing together in harmony. It also puts you and the other human on track for harmony, because you've told them exactly how you feel and what you want. 

Deep Share, part 1 (aka getting off of anti-depressants)

When I thought about sharing one of my own Gate Passages with you ...

I felt major butterflies in the belly.

I’ve felt this feeling many times. I know it intimately. It’s the signal to do something even though, and more importantly because, it scares me. 

This feeling reminds me why I’m here. I’m here to shine a light in the darkest places, which usually happens during Gate Passages (times when your life swiftly and unexpectedly changes). I absolutely love doing this for other sensitive souls.

Here, though, I’m shining a light in my own dark place — one of my own Gate Passages. 

Over the past 2 years, I’ve been winding down taking an anti-depressant. It’s one I’ve been on for about a decade — the last time I took a break. 

The first time I went on one was 1996. I was struggling with searing pain from my neck to my fingertips that started when I was a newspaper reporter. The pain turned into a disability, which ended my journalism career and also caused major depression and anxiety. 

I didn’t realize it then, but this pain brought to a head something deeper. It brought to the surface something from my beginning: I struggled enormously with being a sensitive and empathic soul on this Earth and did not understand how to get along here. 

With this deeper issue now front and center, I had a new normal — crying. Crying was how I dealt with everything. When I had to make a decision and felt overwhelmed, I cried. Whenever there was any stress, like not being able to find a parking spot for doctor’s appointment, I cried. When I was with someone who was sad, I cried.

The doctor I’d been seeing — a wise physician with kind brown eyes who wrote a book about the kind of chronic pain I had — suggested it. I agreed to try it. Within 2 months, I felt lighter. The darkness and despair decreased.

This felt good. Even better, though, I stopped crying and felt better able to cope with decisions and stress.

While it turned the volume down on the extremes — the intense despair as well as the intense joy, it dulled my empathic skill and sensitivity. I was fine with this trade-off at the time, because it gave me the energy to focus on healing the chronic pain. 

I’ve gone off a few more times since then. I wanted to see what life was like without anti-depressants, and I also wanted to see what I was like without them.

Each time, the crying was back. The darkness in my heart and my head was back. The intensity of feeling everything was back. The physical withdrawal symptoms, like weird eye-clicking when I blinked and vertical dizziness, were back. Even though I became much better skilled at coping with life, I was a mess. Within days or weeks, I’d go back on.

This time, I was ready. I gave myself way more time to get off than previous times (like a year and a half more). This time, I was self-employed and my schedule was very flexible. This time, I had flower essences for support. 

Aside from the physical withdrawal symptoms, I didn’t feel much change really until the final 6 months. As I went from the tiniest dose to nothing, the intensity came back. The despair came back. The crying came back. 

This time I noticed a mountain of heartache and regrets. This time, I’m ready to face them, to heal them, to honor them. Art therapy is my tool of choice for this, and I’ve been diving into my studio and following the intensity where it leads. I’m also practicing things that are hard for me, like reaching out to others for help. Each week, I make myself a new Your Signature Blend Flower Elixir and pop that sucker into every glass of water I drink and right on my tongue when I need it.

This time I also notice that my empathic sensitivity is different. I’ve always heard and felt stuff, but now I’m also seeing it. This showed up in the New Moon Oracle readings I did a few weeks ago (I’ll be doing them again from June 21 to June 23 and will announce it here first).

I share this with you because Gate Passages are freaking hard.

It’s hard for each one of us — no matter how we look on the outside or what we do for a living.