I love this topic because it involves one of my favorite ways to know about something. Before I get to that, I am going to share something with you ....
I’ve been on both sides of the room in therapy. I’m a therapist now, but I also have spent time on the other side of the room as a client.
Andrew Black via Compfight
I know firsthand that finding the right therapist is the most important part of successful therapy. You can go to the most popular, buzzed-about therapist, but if it’s not a good fit, you’ll be less than buzzed.
I went to a few who felt totally wrong.
The first therapist was a guy with a snazzy downtown address. Once I stepped into his office, I immediately felt out of place. He listened silently as I poured out my heart out. At the end, he said “You’re depressed and need medication.” That was all he said. (Check, please.)
I tried a female therapist, thinking that I’d feel more comfortable with a woman. She was OK, but her office had such harsh overhead fluorescent lights that I left with a headache, never to return.
One ate her dinner while she listened to me. And still another wrote his notes while I talked.
None of these therapists felt right. My intuition said no.
Then there were the other 2 -- at separate times for separate issues. C was older with lots of experience, and B was recently out of grad school. Through their words, body language and office environment, I felt safely held. I knew that I’d be able to work on whatever I needed.
My intuition said yes.
So here’s my best advice:
- Check out a few therapists.
- Call them. If the conversation feels right, go for an initial session.
- Then check in with yourself. Trust your intuition. If it doesn’t feel right, don’t go back.
- Repeat until your intuition says yes.